"I became more obsessed with securing the ring rather than the Holy Matrimony..."
Proverbs 31 women are expected to exemplify characteristics of Poise, Purity, Strength, Dignity, Respect, Purpose, and Self-Love. Yet, Tarje’s (Queen Tee) memoir 3 Rings and A Promise highlights how misaligned her walk with Christ was to the characteristics God ordained for her to exude. Through hurdles of false Love, identity issues, lies, spiritual anger, and obsession with sex in relationships, Tarje’ shares how her misidentification of Loveled her into three engagements with three different men as well as other ‘situationships.’
Tarje’s misidentification of Love mocked her ‘common-law married’ parents whom devastatingly split up at the peak of her preteen age. For years, she felt unfulfilled, lonely, and stagnant and resorted to relationships as a coping mechanism. Tarje’ was unable to value her self-worth and understand the benefits of celibacy since no examples were a part of her life other than her grandparents. This gave her hope that a man with similar Christ-endorsed values, like her grandfather, possibly existed in a generation of millennial non-traditional dating standards.
Struggling with anger toward God for not being accepted into law school, Tarje’ resented her hometown, considered herself unworthy of God’s Love, and lowered her standards of career success and relationships. Her constant stress for marriage and desire to feel needed by men outweighed her desire for a relationship with God. The spiritual imbalance caused her to be a victim of loss, manipulation, depression, anxiety, unemployment, abuse as well as guilty of relationship triangles, risky sexual behavior, lack of self-love, and irresponsible mishandling of personal finances.
This memoir encourages women to build self-love through embracing the harsh seasons life throws rather than building self-resentment. The authentic transparency of Tarje’s life pains, trauma, loss, and grief educates women to not undermine and despise their life trials while awaiting God’s blessings. This memoir reminds women that God’s promises are always possible through the process of transforming brokenness into wholeness.